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The images below show people and places in Afghanistan that may represent the world in which Laila exists. Having finished Part 2, you now know just how different Laila's life was from Mariam's. But how different was it really? How does the idea os "shelter" (in all of its iterations) affect both women? In your Primary Blog Entry, compare and contrast Mariam and Laila's experiences. Find at least one quote or paraphrase a passage from each that truly highlights their differences, but also explain how the women are similar. Find another quote or paraphrase a passage that highlights their similarity. Once you have finished and submitted your Primary Blog Entry, please read your classmates' entries. Select two to which you would like to respond. See below the photos for more detailed insructions. Primary Blog Expectations (respond to the prompt above): 200-250 words, minimal errors in grammar and usage, thoughtful and thorough writing. Please use the name you were assigned in class as your nom de plume and be sure to add word count. Due by 11:59pm Friday night 2-10-2023! Secondary Blog Response Expectations (read everyone's primary responses, select two that interest you, and respond to their ideas): 100-150 words EACH, minimal errors in grammar and usage, thoughtful and thorough writing. Please use the name you were assigned in class as your nom de plume and be sure to add word count. Due by 11:59pm Sunday night 2-12-2023!
Arabian Leopard
2/10/2023 07:32:21 pm
Laila and Mariam both come from families that hold very similar ideals of sheltering. Their families just went about this in different ways. Laila and Miriam were both sheltered from having arranged marriages early on (Mariam has one later on). Laila was sheltered because her father believed that she could achieve more and become a very educated woman. Mariam was sheltered because her mother knew the hardshipsof being a woman, however she did not want her child to indulge in education. When Mariam brings up wanting be to in school her mother replies, "What's the sense schooling a girl like you? It's like shining a spittoon" (Hosseini 18). On the contrary, Laila notes, "...Babi thought that the one thing the communists had done right...was in the field of education... More specifically the education of women" (Hosseini 135).
Snow Leopard
2/12/2023 07:30:54 pm
I agree with you on the idea of their families sheltering them in different ways. Mariam’s mom specifically, sheltered her from her terrible father Jalil and she only figured this out when it was too late. Her sheltering mostly came from her nana in a sense doubting her capabilities while Laila’s sheltering came from her parents believing she can handle the world. This becomes more prominent with the education topic with that quote from Nana. “Shining a spittoon” essentially means cleaning something over and over again just for it to keep getting dirty. In this context, she’s saying that even if Mariam was to be educated, she would simply forget and not use anything that she learned. Their gender roles are also a large theme throughout the novel. Mariam had no choice but to follow the gender roles that were placed on her both by her families and Jalil. However, Laila had a real chance to break those roles with her bright future and education which is what makes her story so much more tragic.(175 words)
star of bethlehem
2/12/2023 11:46:19 pm
i agree with the idea of the two main characters being sheltered differently because Mariam and Laila’s families have a different approach to providing shelter for them. Mariam’s mother, Nana, shelters her through her harsh words and tough love, while Laila’s father, Babi, provides sanctuary through his unconditional acceptance of her. Both forms of sheltering may seem difficult to understand, but it ultimately comes from a place of love. Nana’s tough love is a reflection of her desire for Mariam to be independent and self-reliant, which she believes can be achieved only by pushing Mariam out of her comfort zone.
Elizabeth Acevado
2/13/2023 12:02:45 am
I agree with how you talk about the structure and details are similar about their families. It really just shows that even though they grew up quite similar in that regard they can also still be quite different and I think that's important. Gender roles and dealing with being a woman, especially in this location and time period, is very important so I like how you highlighted that detail. They have to live up to certain expectations quite strictly and it feels oppressive in a way. Overall, these were good examples to pick out about the similarities and differences between these two.
Snow Leopard
2/12/2023 12:58:58 am
In A thousand splendid Suns, both Laila and Mariam share a great deal of similarities and differences. Both of these characters are from relatively prestigious families compared to everyone else in Afghanistan. However, the way they were raised was drastically different: Laila was raised with the freedom to be independent and was well educated because of her father being a teacher while Mariam is very conserved and quiet: she does as she’s told and doesn’t complain which is mostly due to her strict and bitter mother.
King Cobra
2/12/2023 10:02:00 pm
I agree with the fact that both girls' fathers are total opposites. I also made this point in my blog entry. Both fathers have a different relationship with their daughter and hold different values which in turn effected how the girls grew up and the way their lives played out. And it's interesting to see that both girls lost their parents. These losses will surely have a dramatic effect on them. I wonder if they will end up finding shelter and family within one another in the future now that both their families are gone.
socotra dragon tree
2/13/2023 02:31:10 am
A Siamese Cat
2/12/2023 11:10:55 am
Sun Bear
2/12/2023 08:07:10 pm
I agree with your point about Laila and Mariam finding shelter in different ways due to their upbringings. Mariam's lack of parental guidance made her want to find stability, whereas Laila, who already has stability, wants to uphold the safety and comfort that she as grown up with. When Laila loses her family, first her brothers, and then her mother emotionally, she wants to find shelter somewhere that will protect her and what is left of her parents. Laila wants to feel safe with Babi, Mammy, and Tariq: people who have been her shelter for so long. Mariam, never having this support, wants to find family. As a woman without her mother and abandoned by her father, Mariam feels she is unable to survive as a "harami" without a family, which is why she marries Rasheed. Living in a patriarchal society, Mariam feels that she will never find shelter and security if she did not have a family or a husband. Laila, having felt the comfort of family, strives to protect hers, whereas Mariam, having felt nothing but cruelty by her family, believes that she will finally find security if she finds family.
A Siamese Cat
2/12/2023 09:38:36 pm
I feel like since we know that Mariam and Laila meets in the next part, Mariam’s longing to find people who will actually care for her, will be fulfilled by Laila. Although it may not be in an ideal situation, their past struggles as women who seek to be educated and valued for they are, will create a very special bond between them. I really hope something positive happens to them because they’ve already been through so much.
Arabian Leopard
2/12/2023 10:49:13 pm
I'm glad you made the point about Laila's mom prioritizing Ahmad and Noor. It seems as though the distance from her sons is having a very negative effect on her. It's interesting to think that instead of a mother holding on to what she currently has near her, she will instead mourn what's not there and neglect the child she still has to directly care for. I wonder if this is put in the story to make us question gender roles and motherly love. Do you see a trend with mothers caring more for their sons? Is this happening with Ahmad and Noor because they are the eldest siblings? (105 words)
Snow Leopard
2/14/2023 07:56:01 am
I agree with Miriam just wanting somewhere to belong and where she could be comfortable being herself. However, everywhere she stayed or went , she got the opposite. This is first seen with how Nana criticized the things she did and created a hostile environment/ home for her to live in her whole life which in turn made her submissive to any sort of treatment she received whether good or bad. We see this translation with her and Rasheed’s relationship, how she does everything he tells her with no real backbone of her own closely aligning with her relationship with Nana.
Sun Bear ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
2/12/2023 07:55:01 pm
Though Mariam and Laila had different upbringings, both carry the burdens of womanhood. Mariam and Laila take on parental responsibilities due to their unreliable mothers. Nana, Mariam’s mother, and Mammy, Laila’s mother, disregarded their responsibilities to their families. Nana was dependent on Mariam for emotional stability, whereas Mammy neglected Laila after Ahmad and Noor’s deaths. Though Babi was a good father towards Laila, unlike Jalil, she was still obligated to fulfill the responsibilities that her mother couldn’t. As a woman, Laila had to cook, clean, and take care of her mother while her father worked. Though Nana provided for Mariam in the ways that Mammy didn’t for Laila, she was hardly a mother. Mariam was expected to fulfill her emotional needs whilst still atoning for what her father did. Laila and Mariam are left to pick up the pieces that men left in their mother’s lives.
A Siamese Cat
2/12/2023 09:33:14 pm
When you mentioned how Nana was dependent on Mariam for emotional stability, I kinda saw a parallel to that for Mammy— in the sense that, waiting and praying for the conflict to subside and avenge her sons, is her sense of stability. It showcases how their mothers are drained by needing to meet the expectations of their husbands and society; this weight causes them to place all their hope on their daughters/sons’ future. It almost seems like that’s the only thing they can do to live on besides their expected household work. Wow this is a sad realization actually…
The Veronica polifolia
2/12/2023 10:49:33 pm
I appreciated the statement you made about Nana hardly being a mother to Miriam, but I disagree with you about the responsibilities of motherhood. Though yes, having a child in general comes with obligations, I believe that in a relationship, understanding prompts situational responsibilities. Laila's father understood that her mother was experiencing a significant amount of grief. which is understandable given the circumstance. He was able to supplement the lack of a second parental figure in that time and support Laila in the ways she needed. Although yes, her mother's grief was very intense and took away from the potential mother-daughter relationship, it was the best it could be given the situation. Her mother did not abuse her mentally, nor did she diminish her potential, but rather sheltered herself from making those mistakes.
Elizabeth Acevado
2/12/2023 11:55:29 pm
I like how you mentioned their mothers because parents play a crucial role in how someone may develop. I also like how you go into how Nana was also barely a mother and how Mariam basically had to parent her own parent because that's another interesting topic that I've heard about and want to learn more about. From what I've seen before, people who have to parent their parents view it sort like a trauma. I also like how you used the word "burden" because that seems like the best way to describe Mariam and Laila's position. It's something heavily, negative and they have know control on it.
socotra dragon tree
2/13/2023 02:35:01 am
I agree, I think both Mariam and Laila carry the burdens of womanhood. Laila, although more experienced, was shoved from an empathetic and caring family to an unempathetic husband that didn’t truly care about her. Miriam was thrown from embarrassment to guilt to abuse, nothing ever came easy for her. Both Miriam and Laila had to switch so fast and had to endure whatever was given to them.
Dromedary Camel
2/15/2023 06:08:12 pm
This is very well said. One thing that is constant with both stories is that Mariam and Lalia are impacted by their father's decisions. Not only that but they are impacted by what their mothers think of their fathers. Mammy slowly begins to hate her husband, becoming twisted and depressed. Nana hates Jalil and extends that hate onto Mariam, who doesn't believe it. It would be interesting to see how different Mariam and Lalia would be if their mothers hadn't extended their own emotions onto their daughters.
The Veronica polifolia
2/12/2023 08:28:42 pm
Miriam and Laila are both incredibly resilient women, who though have very different stories, both had to endure significant adversity in order to simply survive.
A Siamese Cat
2/12/2023 09:20:20 pm
I find it quite interesting when you mentioned Mariam’s need to reside with Rasheen because of her belief that she can’t survive on her own with her reputation. It really is something that makes Laila and Mariam’s lives very different from each other.
King Cobra
2/12/2023 10:09:23 pm
I agree that the girls' upbringing is the major cause for their differences. It's true that how we are raised and brought up is what shapes us. Our environment and experiences as we grow up alter the way we move through the world and who we become. It is almost like we can see who these two girls will grow up to be just based on the environment they are in, the people they are surrounded by, and the values that are instilled in them from early on.
Pelusios Castaneus (Mud Turtle)
2/12/2023 11:06:46 pm
When you begin to explain how Laila's father is a good man even though “he was not a strong, rich man by any means," caused me to think of how men being perceived in Afghan society affects their actions towards others. Because of this, I thought of an interesting point. It is the rich and famous businessman Jalil that cares about his image who sees his daughter as a disgrace, but is the less wealthy, less strong, more "further" from a man Babi, who cares about his daughter and values her. This perspective allows me to see that another reason that Mariam and Laila differ is because of how much each's father wishes to be seen in society: it is the one who is more sentimental and emotionally intelligent who is able to see the equality that both men and women deserve, while the one driven by socioeconomic status allows the thoughts of other to cloud one's own and treat men and women differently. These descriptions being respective to Babi and Jalil show why they treated their daughter the way they did and allowed them to have the life they had. (Word count: 191).
King Cobra
2/12/2023 09:53:06 pm
In Mariam’s life, she has shelter physically inside the Kolba, and she has a certain kind of shelter within Nana, but she especially has found shelter within Mullah Faizullah. She feels safe when around him, she adores him, and she feels she can talk to him more than anyone else. Laila also has the physical shelter of her home, but unlike Mariam, Laila’s father is her primary human shelter, along with her childhood friend Tariq. Both girls have shelter in one of their parents, a close friend, and their home. A major difference between the two girls’ experiences is the plans their fathers have for their future. Mariam’s destiny is to be married off with her father’s sign off. When Jalil and the wives are telling Mariam about her marriage they inform Mariam that Jalil “has already given Rasheed his answer” (Hosseini 49). Without any regard to Mariam’s feelings, she is sent away in a heartbeat. Whereas Lailah’s father holds different values, he tells Lailah “Marriage can wait, education cannot…you can be anything you want” (Hosseini 114). With this kind of encouragement from her dad, Lailah’s destiny is to be an educated successful woman. Both girls are similar in the relationship they have with their mother. Nana’s resentment for Jalil is why Nana can’t see Mariam as an innocent child, every chance Nana gets, she reminds Mariam of who “she really is” and who she will inevitably become. Nana tells Mariam “You are nothing” (Hosseini 27). This shows how Nana sees her daughter and values her as a human. Similarly, after Lailah’s brothers are killed, her mother goes into a depressive state without any notice to the one child she had left. She acts as if Lailah did not exist to her. Laila wished “mammy would notice that she, Laila, was alive, here, with her. (Hosseini 142). This is where Mammy’s and Laila’s relationship gained distance, Laila felt neglected and unseen.
Arabian Leopard
2/12/2023 10:34:23 pm
I love how you considered the shelters the girls had with not only their parents, but their friends. Mullah and Tariq are also very important to the girls and had an effect on their daily experiences. Mullah made it his mission to make sure Layla was being taught well and Tariq made sure he protected Laila from bullies. I delved into thought about how as the girls got older, they lost this sort of protection. Mariam was ripped from Mulla due to arranged marriage and Tariq left Afghanistan due to the unstable shelter it provided. Now, both girls are left in unprotected situations and exposed to the cruel, harsh, world. (110 words)
The Veronica polifolia
2/12/2023 10:43:54 pm
Though I agree with you about the girls' relationships with their mothers, and how they are extremely flawed, I believe the intentions of the two are very different. Laila's mother is not holding her back by the bounds of her mental illness, nor is she unaware of her state. She recognizes the fact that she has not been there for her daughter in the typical way, but also realizes that Laila has sufficient amount of support to supplement the loss due to the bounds of her mother's grief. Miriam's mother, however, does not care for who Miriam is. She does not realize how significant the way she parents affects Miriam. She does not care about the well-being of her daughter, but more so ensuring she does not get hurt by her dad.
star of bethlehem
2/12/2023 11:50:57 pm
to add on to what was stated above i believe that Mariam and Laila's upbringing, there are many points of similarity in their respective lives. Both experienced rigidity and harshness in their environments, as they were both strictly raised and sheltered from the realities of their societies. In A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini vividly portrays the difficult situations these two young women faced. Mariam's mother, Nana, often reminds Mariam of her illegitimacy, which creates a hostile environment for her.
King Cobra
2/12/2023 09:53:18 pm
In Mariam’s life, she has shelter physically inside the Kolba, and she has a certain kind of shelter within Nana, but she especially has found shelter within Mullah Faizullah. She feels safe when around him, she adores him, and she feels she can talk to him more than anyone else. Laila also has the physical shelter of her home, but unlike Mariam, Laila’s father is her primary human shelter, along with her childhood friend Tariq. Both girls have shelter in one of their parents, a close friend, and their home. A major difference between the two girls’ experiences is the plans their fathers have for their future. Mariam’s destiny is to be married off with her father’s sign off. When Jalil and the wives are telling Mariam about her marriage they inform Mariam that Jalil “has already given Rasheed his answer” (Hosseini 49). Without any regard to Mariam’s feelings, she is sent away in a heartbeat. Whereas Lailah’s father holds different values, he tells Lailah “Marriage can wait, education cannot…you can be anything you want” (Hosseini 114). With this kind of encouragement from her dad, Lailah’s destiny is to be an educated successful woman. Both girls are similar in the relationship they have with their mother. Nana’s resentment for Jalil is why Nana can’t see Mariam as an innocent child, every chance Nana gets, she reminds Mariam of who “she really is” and who she will inevitably become. Nana tells Mariam “You are nothing” (Hosseini 27). This shows how Nana sees her daughter and values her as a human. Similarly, after Lailah’s brothers are killed, her mother goes into a depressive state without any notice to the one child she had left. She acts as if Lailah did not exist to her. Laila wished “mammy would notice that she, Laila, was alive, here, with her. (Hosseini 142). This is where Mammy’s and Laila’s relationship gained distance, Laila felt neglected and unseen.
the star of bethlehem
2/12/2023 10:37:16 pm
Despite their vastly different upbringings, Mariam and Laila share a common bond of strength and resiliency. Mariam, raised in a small hut on the outskirts of Herat, was often rejected by society due to her status as an illegitimate child, Mariam was a forced child bride with limited prospects for education and autonomy. As Mariam explains, “Laila had everything I never did. Laila on the other hand, grew up in an upper-class household where she was encouraged to pursue her dreams. She's a young, educated woman who is passionate about learning and independence . Nevertheless, both women faced challenges in their lives and because of these challenges, they were able to find strength in their challenges and persevere. Although these differences in upbringing, both are strong and strong women willing to do anything to protect the ones they love. However, both Mariam and Laila experience heartbreak when their homes and families are destroyed due to the war in Kabul, leaving them with lives that are inextricably intertwined. Mariam's view of life is expressed when she reflects on her mother's words, “Marriage can wait, education cannot”. This statement serves as a reminder of Mariam’s determination to take control of her own life despite the cultural traditions. Similarly, Laila’s determination is expressed when she says, “If I am a bird, I must learn to fly”. Mariam remarks that “Laila had the luck of being born a decade later than I,” (Hosseini 95) illustrating the starkly contrasting environments each woman lived in during their lifetimes. While Mariam often fears for her safety and is stuck in an unhappy marriage, Laila is able to lead a relatively more independent life with greater freedom of choice. At the same time, there are strong parallels between the two women's lives, including their shared suffering at the hands of Rasheed, the man they both marry. Althoug the differences between Mariam and Laila's experiences, they both feel the effects of oppressive societies. In the novel, Mariam quotes, No one’s ever done a thing like this for me. No one’s ever made me feel like I was worth a damn thing” (Hosseini 101). This quote captures Mariam’s feelings of loneliness and longing due to her suppressed position as an illegitimate daughter in a misogynistic society. Despite the vast differences between the two characters, they both shared the common experience of losing their parents at a young age.
Pelusios Castaneus (Mud Turtle)
2/12/2023 10:55:37 pm
I loved how you claimed that a similarity between Mariam and Laila was their resilience. I had been thinking of their similarity in a more situational and societal way but it is very interesting to see this path of thought taken. However I feel that your argument is unorganized and you're not fully explaining one thought before you move on to the next. Can you explain how exactly Laila is seen persevering. You say that "Laila’s determination is expressed when she says, 'If I am a bird, I must learn to fly'." but how is she determined and for what purpose, also how does this determination connect her to Marium? (Word count 110).
Pelusios Castaneus (Mud Turtle)
2/12/2023 10:45:40 pm
A common cause of areas being at odds with each other is that each side lives in polarity of the other, but how polar is this separation? This question is a valid one to contemplate as both Part 1 and Part 2 of ATSS has been read.
Pelusios Castaneus (Mud Turtle)
2/12/2023 10:56:34 pm
(Word count: 433).
Elizabeth Acevado
2/12/2023 11:48:04 pm
One of the things that make Mariam and Laila different is the different parental figures they grew up with. Although they both had parents, Mariam was closer to her mother, while Laila was closer to her father. This could be important for how they grow up because of the different parenting styles of each parent and the effects of having no father or mother figure. A mother might teach her daughter to be more feminine and “act as a woman.” A father, however, might not be able to teach his daughter how to operate as a woman in the world well enough and this could affect how they think and behave as adults. When Laila’s father says things like “You're a very, very bright girl” it highlights how supportive he is towards his daughter (Hosseini 72).
Dromedary Camel
2/15/2023 06:57:00 pm
I agree that both Mariam and Lalia are impacted by their parental figures. I think one difference is that each of their parents influences them in different ways. Nana makes Mariam seem like she was nothing in the world while Babi told Lalia that she could do anything. This difference eventually ends, as they end up in the same situation.
Socotra dragon tree
2/13/2023 02:24:48 am
Contrast: Laila and mariam differ a lot in their lives. Whilst Mariam constantly had to suffer before even being born, Laila was treated like a princess and got the childhood mariam wanted. One example of their different lifestyles is when Mariam wasn’t given the education she wanted because of her mothers selfish motives and her fathers careless absence. Mariam states: “There is only one, only one skill a woman like you and me needs in life, and they don’t teach it in school . . . Only one skill. And it’s this: tahamul. Endure . . . It’s our lot in life, Mariam. Women like us. We endure. It’s all we have. Do you understand? Besides, they’ll laugh at you in school. They will. They’ll call you harami. They’ll say the most terrible things about you. I won’t have it. . . There is nothing out there for her. Nothing but rejection and heartache. I know, akhund sahib. I know.” (Hosseini 17-18). This quote takes place after Mariams tutor asked if Miriam could go to school. Because of Nana's beliefs and her bitterness, she wouldn’t allow Miriam to go to school which led to no education or opportunity for Mariam. Laila grew up in a home with both her parents and although her mother was absent minded, she was still there and both parents made sure Laila went to school. Babi states: “Marriage can wait, education cannot... Because a society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated, Laila. No chance” (Hosseini 114). This quote shows the values of Laila's father. Babi is interested in Laila and deeply cares about her, he wants a better life and better opportunities for her. Babi doesn’t want to just send his daughter off to marry or crush her spirit.
Dromedary Camel
2/15/2023 06:00:57 pm
Laila’s life is really different from Mariam’s. Laila is born in Kabul, a city that is known to empower women, grows up with friends, has a loving family and explores the world around her. Mariam’s childhood was pretty much the exact opposite. She is locked within her kobla, only knows Nana, Jalil, Murrah Fazula and anyone who her father brings up the hill to visit her. This results in a very sheltered mindset and naive view of the world. Comments are closed.
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